Tim McMullen's Missives and Tomes

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Emoticonversations™ Coming Soon!

I sort of understand MySpace although, semantically, the “friend” thing is a bit imprecise.

Facebook—I'm on it, but I don't really see the point.

Apparently, both of these approaches are much too literate, however, so now we have Twitter: say all that you have to say in 140 characters and have thousands of people hang on your every tweet. Clearly, Twitter is for twits.

Let's face it, though, even that's much too much human contact for today's techknowcrat.

Therefore, I am proud to announce that I will be launching "Emoticonverse™"—A social-networking service in which no words are allowed; your entire "Emoticonversations™" will be limited to ten emoticons or less.

So, here's the classic boy-meets-girl story in ten emoticons:



Big Grin!


Raised eyebrow!






What more is there to say?
Besides, it's about time that we all began looking at the world a little more sideways, don't you think?

Ironically, this is the very first time that I have used one of those dopey little things!

•€ ‡∑ ¢◊

These, of course, mean nothing; I made them up just now. However, when my "Emoticonverse™" has run its course, I will be introducing "Emoticondoms™," a program that will weed out and erase all the little buggers in incoming messages while randomly creating and placing new and meaningless configurations in all outgoing correspondence.

I can't wait. Can you?

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